How to Make a Boozy Blended Cocktail

Every year in late July, some 20,000 bartenders descend on New Orleans for a gathering called Tales of the Cocktail, what is, for the cocktail community, easily the stickiest party of the year. New Orleans summers are famously brutal—the average high tops 90 degrees, with humidity ranging from oppressive to fascistic—and attendees sweat their way in lines through the city, plodding from big brand party to big brand party, hoping to be handed something in their cups that can melt the salty crystals ever forming and drying on their limbs and neck. It is through this daze that the ones who know find their way to the Erin Rose, just a half block off Bourbon St. in the city’s legendary French Quarter, and get one, or several, of their Frozen Irish Coffees.

The Erin Rose is a local institution. It’s an Irish dive bar, an industry haunt in an unusually industry-driven town, with every bit of the unpretentious ambiance, seasoned bartenders, and low prices that the phrase “Irish dive bar” promises. They are open 21 hours a day, from 10 am to 7 am, and do quite a few things right—the hot Irish Coffee is great, the po-boys from the back are great, and they can do a Guinness and a shot as well as anyone—but it is their Frozen Irish Coffees, invented in the ‘80s by the original proprietor Jim Monaghan Sr., for which the legions of parched bartenders break upon their shores.

The Frozen Irish Coffee is a godsend. It is perhaps the greatest hangover remedy ever conceived, ice cold obviously and somewhere between a slushy and a soft-serve, a boozy, caffeinated anti-fogmatic designed for warm-weather day-drinking. It’s also wonderful (I can personally confirm) at night in winter, when it’s not too hot or even hot at all but you want something tasty all the same. It is decadent, sweet like a milkshake, but with its sweetness kept in check by the cream and spirits. It is, ounce-for-ounce, one of the most delicious things I’ve ever had. 

This is not the recipe for the Erin Rose Frozen Irish Coffee—this is just a tribute. The original has been a closely held secret for decades, one that would necessitate a several-thousand-dollar frozen-drink machine and many months of trial and error to even approach in terms of quality and precision. Honestly, even if you could replicate it exactly, it’s still not a replacement for actually going to the Erin Rose (indeed, the exact same drink is available at Erin Rose’s sister bar, Molly’s at the Market, which is where it was originally invented) because there’s nothing quite like being at the Erin Rose in New Orleans, sitting near the window within earshot of Bourbon St., sipping a frosty reprieve. 

If you’re not lucky enough to be at Tales of the Cocktail this week, we humbly offer a substitute recipe for the Frozen Irish Coffee—for the brunch mornings or hungover days, breezy afternoons or warm nights, or otherwise for one of those days where you’re hot, sweaty, tired and raw, and you want to solve all four of those problems in one go. 

Frozen Irish Coffee

Add all ingredients to a blender. Blend on high until thickened but pourable—add more ice if too thin, or a touch of water (or spirits) if too thick. Pour into a cup or glass, and garnish with a sprinkle of finely ground or freeze-dried coffee, swirled on top.

NOTES ON INGREDIENTS

Brandy: Yes, the Frozen Irish Coffee uses brandy as opposed to Irish Whiskey. Get over it. 

I tried this with whiskey. I wanted it to work with whiskey. And it kind of does, more or less, but it’s not better. Brandy/cognac is rounder, which is what this drink wants. Can you use whiskey? Of course, and if you haven’t had it with brandy, you wouldn’t know what you’re missing. But Irish Whiskey can read hollow and to the extent that the grain in the whiskey pokes through the profile, it does so at the expense of the overall flavor profile. I advise brandy.

As for brands: Any Cognac or Spanish brandy will do the trick. Or American brandy, really. No need to get too expensive, a V.S. is fine—at the prices they charge, I would assume they use something like E&J or Christian Bros, and it’s still delicious. 

Coffee Liqueur: I tried a few, and I think Kahlua works best for our purposes. The cool hipster third-wave liqueurs make better Espresso Martinis, but when there’s a sufficient amount of coffee itself, the liqueur doesn’t need to do too much heavy lifting of for flavor, and Kahlua had the roundness (and, importantly, avoided the bitterness) that makes the drink sing. Tia Maria would likely also work. Borghetti and Mr. Black were too dark, and for my palate in this particular instance, too bitter.

Coffee Ice Cubes: As mentioned, the Erin Rose uses a soft-serve machine to freeze all the ingredients, which means there’s no filler ice. To best simulate this, either buy or make cold brew (coarsely ground coffee, mixed 7:1 with water, let sit at room temp for 24 hours and filter), then freeze it into ice cube trays. This way, you get the temperature without the added water from using standard ice. If you use the 1.25-inch molds, three cubes is almost exactly 100g. 

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If you can’t be bothered (or just want it right now), substitute it with 2.5-3 oz. cold brew and about 100g (~¾ cup) of regular ice. This makes it necessarily thinner, but it’s still great.

Ice Cream: Vanilla. No need to be too precious.

Garnish: The Erin Rose garnishes it with what looks like (and probably is) coffee grinds, swirled on top. You’d think it would be gross or gritty, but it’s really not—I just recreated it in my kitchen without the magic of the location to sway me, and it’s fine. If you want to play that game, just grind it very thin, espresso style. Otherwise you can use freeze dried or instant coffee, which will have the same flavor but is designed to dissolve. Instant coffee is a better call all in all, it just wasn’t so much better than I would advocate buying some just for the garnish.